I am suffering from Middle Finger Bump Disintegration. The affliction has targeted my right hand, precisely the space between the tip of my middle finger and my first knuckle. The disease has ravaged the side closest to my pointer finger.
Go ahead and look at your own hand. Once you get an anatomical idea, please read on…
Well folks, the other day, after I finished chores and while I rubbed warm blood back into my hands, I discovered the anatomical malady of Middle Finger Bump Disintegration. I used to have a large, sometimes even ink-stained, callous that bumped up against my pointer finger. It protruded like some sort of boney growth. Imagine my shock and awe as I noticed that mine is completely missing; it’s apparently disintegrated into oblivion! And this is really ba-aad (you might want to pull the little kiddies away from the screen)… the area has turned soft.
There is only one remedy for my condition. Sometimes it’s painful. And although rare, it has been reported that some people even contract splinters while applying the restorative treatment.
Bring it on! I want my middle finger bump back!
I’m a tough girl. And as my tall, strapping, hunk of a husband generally adds to such a statement, “Yeah, you’re tough. Tough smelling all right.” Oh, don’t get your knickers in a knot, only a country girl can count that as a term of endearment.
Anyway, back to my medical condition, I am tough and I am ready for the re-building, actually, the “reformation” if you will, of my middle finger bump.
Ailment: Middle Finger Bump Disintegration
Treatment: Write with a wooden pencil, sometimes use a mechanical one, and oftentimes use an ink pen.
Prescription Warnings: During treatment, especially in the first days, some minor irritation and swelling may occur. If it does, do NOT apply ice, just rub finger across lips and get back at it. No pain, no gain, sister.
Prognosis: If patient cooperates & participates & doesn’t fluctuate far from the treatment plan, her severe case of MFBD will likely reverse.
Additional Notes: A Simple Country Girl must keep her target in-sight, use the proper tools, and self-administer the treatment plan every single day.
yellow legal pads,
and eat-in restaurant tabs
smoothed out napkins
and the back of grocery store tallies.
into the paper fibers.
Healing is found
in the grip
of my hand
and the drip
of my heart
And the other, ink.
Would you like to read any of it?
By the way, how’s your bump?