Romance in 500 Words

faith, humor, living


. .




Intense. Exciting. Mysterious. Love affair. These are some descriptives that I found in the dictionary behind the February word “romance.”


Apart from a Hollywood movie screen or the pages of a book, I think romance is for the hogs. Slop it to ‘em from a bucket and wash your hands of it as soon as possible.


Romance is fanciful. It is fantasy. It is fictitious. It is dangerous.


And by doggies, it ain’t gonna put food on the table or buy diapers for the baby. Oh, indeed it likely influenced the making of said baby, but it does nothing to clothe the mini-pooper-burper.


So tell me, what happened after the rings got shoved into place, you said the wedding vows, and you licked the last of the cake crumbs from the marriage plate?




You paid the pastor, the caterer,

the photographer,

the florist,

the dress-maker,

the baker,

and the candlestick maker.


Then you shared a two dollar burrito at Bubba’s Bean Shack because that’s all the money you found under the floor mat of the get-away car. And you dared not reach across the table to hold hands because it was covered in dried hot sauce and crusty bits of mystery meat.


Yes, that’s when you realized that Intense & Exciting & Love Affair had excused themselves from the room, never to be found again.


Oh you, you are a smart cookie! You just realized that Mysterious is still lurking about somewhere. I’m okay with this sneaky straggler because he has existed apart from Romance and has comfortably cohabitated within marriages for years. Who am I to oust this secret agent who brings inexplicable strife delight to couples?


  • Mysterious are the ways of a husband’s dirty socks and wet towels that smell like the backside of a cow. 
  • Mysterious are the ways of a wife’s mood swings and underwear drawers full of hidden chocolate candy. 
  • Mysterious are the ways of how he rolls brand new toothpaste tubes and how she replaces toilet paper rolls. 
  • And mysterious are the ways to recapture that romantic lovin’ feelin’ once you’ve been married longer than it takes to boil an egg.


I’m here to simultaneously let the air outta your balloon and burst your bubble. Ppfffffzzzzz.


Romance like you knew it in your single daze ain’t never ever, ever gonna happen again. What with all the baby-burping & wage-earning & manure-shoveling & homework-helping, that loving feeling is gone, gone, gone.


 Gone, gone, gone. Whooaaa-whooaaa-whooaaa. Oooh.


Despite my warnings, I am afraid there are a few Romance Renegades among us. I’ve seen evidence: bouquets of roses, cutesy greeting cards, and heart-shaped boxes of candy. Good night folks, haven’t you been listening?


Romance is all for naught. It’ll just rot. Go on, toss it out in the hog slop.


If you haven’t noticed the red flags and you still feel the need to feed the despicable Romance monster, just slowly hand over the chocolates. I’ll do it for ya.


Come on, you can trust me.

 —————————————————-  ~  ————————————————– 



Actually you cannot really trust me. Or  your very own self. Or your spouse.


You cannot trust man, or woman, to keep you on track and in-line with everything you thought, said, did, and vowed on your blessed wedding day. But you can and you must, trust God. His Wisdom & heart is way better than ours. 


Since I already spent myself on an attempted humor piece up there, I am leaving this section up to someone who succinctly said all the right stuff about marriage and love. While imprisoned in 1943, Deitrich Bonhoeffer penned these words as part of a marriage sermon:


Marriage is more than your love for each other.

It has a higher power, for it is God’s holy ordinance, through which he wills to perpetuate the human race until the end of time.

In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to his glory, and calls into his kingdom.

In your love you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind.

Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal—it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man.

…so love comes from you, but marriage from above, from God. As high as God is above man, so high are the sanctity, the rights, and the promise of love.

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.



May the God of love bless all that you do in His name.


* This post is part of Peter Polluck’s One Word at a Time Blog Carnival:



* It is also part of Jennifer Dukes Lee’s linky-thing:

This month, at The High Calling, we’re launching a series

exploring the joys and struggles of marriage,

broaching the topic from multiple angles

for the sake of helping,

healing, and considering.


See ya there.



* PHOTO CREDIT: my friend, Susan lent me the yummy photo.

Thanks so much!



12 thoughts on “Romance in 500 Words”

  1. I know “romance” shouldn’t be a fantasy, forever and ever. But I will say that I am so blessed by a godly romantic husband who blesses and blesses and blesses me again. And he was/is a gift of God. So we focus on serving the Lord, and partnering together as we do that, but we also focus on caring and supporting each other in the midst. We don’t “TV” our “Hollywood” our marriage. Period. I’m glad you have a husband who loves you dearly, Dear.

  2. It is a mystery. The way of love. The kind with the big and little “L”. But I’ve been pursued by the One who never ceases…and that flame will never be put out. That’s pretty cool.

  3. Nobody can tell a story like you can! You make me roll on the floor and then hit me with it.

    BTW, I just tried to reply to your sweet note, but the email bounced back twice. You blessed me big time this morning.

  4. I know a bit about marriage sustaining love. We just took a trip together, and it was very different that the trip we took just 2 1/2 years ago. This year is #20.

  5. So glad my “kisses” could be a part of this.

    1 Peter 5:14
    14Salute one another with a kiss of love [the symbol of mutual affection]. To all of you that are in Christ Jesus (the Messiah), may there be peace ([a]every kind of peace and blessing, especially peace with God, and [b]freedom from fears, agitating passions, and moral conflicts). Amen (so be it).

  6. Hey.

    I recognize those socks. But my guy’s smell more like pig. 🙂

    It’s so good to hear from you again. And Susan’s picture? Delicious. Mmmmm….

  7. LOVE this! Seen your name in facebook tags and conversations, but this is my first trip out to your blog. SO glad I came – and i’ll be back, too. Love that Bonhoeffer quote – doing a wedding in April and I might just use it. So thanks for that – and your own words, too.

  8. Your words are priceless… much like you, I’m sure of it.

    I’m sending them on to my love struck boy-man and wishing someone like you had said something like this when i was a young’n.

  9. You make realism fun, Darlene!

    Thanks for linking this to the Community Writing project, and reminding us via Bonhoeffer how (though you didn’t put it in bold) “…so love comes from you, but marriage from above, from God.”

  10. Wow.
    We got married in the late morning, had lunch at the reception there, then drove away for four hours in my new in-laws’ car (the in-laws, not the car, were new) and had our first dinner as man and wife from Taco Bell! I bet it was the first time the drive-thru guy served a man in a tuxedo and a woman in a wedding gown. I still remember I ordered a Mexican Pizza and a Soft Taco Supreme.
    You know, I really love this post.

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